[a short nod; he will have to trust Florian knows best in this. Thrawn stares at - or rather, through - Florian as he recounts his version of the last ten minutes]
Aerith requested we meet in person to speak - she made no mention of what topic - and suggested the library's study room.
She instructed me to relax, that this was an apology and not a lecture. She expressed that she was sorry for allowing contact between us to cease. I acknowledged that the fault lay with me: that I had, as you said, broken her heart, and that any lapse in friendship or communication was similarly my burden to bear. I attempted to explain that I had no wish to hurt her further.
Aerith reiterated that I had hurt her, but that our friendship was still in existence, unless I did not wish it.
This was a relief and a worry to hear: I explained my fear that hurting her again would be an inevitability, so I made a similar suggestion regarding my project limitations. Since my failure with the alarms was part of what caused her distress, I could allow her to direct and use my skills. In this way I hoped to convey that I still wished to provide assistance in keeping her safe, but without overstepping personal boundaries.
This is where the conversation began to turn. She expressed a desire not to use me and further elaborated that I was hurting her and myself at this very moment.
This is where I became initially confused. You and I have had conversations where I have told you that I am happiest when I can be put to use. I told Aerith a similar sentiment, but she reacted negatively and claimed my words meant I saw myself as an object, and prior experience made those words carry a negative connotation. But they are how I prefer to describe myself and what I need to be happy - as you have claimed it is what you desire. This too was met with negative emotion: evidently I am not to use these words to describe myself unless I have her permission?
She asked if I had sought clarity in why I had hurt her in the first place: I said that I was in the process of it, but that Doctor Sheehan had been working on establishing rapport first and foremost. Alarmingly, she began to talk about our friendship in the past tense and that she did not wish for it to end: she asked me why I had not asked her a question, but I do not know what she wished me to ask her.
That was when she began to cry once again. I realized that speaking likely would make matters worse. She followed with a series of semi-connected sentences regarding her apology to me for hurting me - and it was not hurt I feel, but alarm first and foremost - and that she did not wish our friendship to end, and this was her attempt to talk the matter through.
I reached out to you discretely in order to save this before it had the potential to grow worse, and attempted to explain your sudden appearance as a desire to seek understanding in how I have hurt her.
Again, that seemed to make matters worse; Aerith did not like my choice of words, or perhaps the generality of it. Perhaps she wishes for a more specific apology. That is when you entered.
no subject
Aerith requested we meet in person to speak - she made no mention of what topic - and suggested the library's study room.
She instructed me to relax, that this was an apology and not a lecture. She expressed that she was sorry for allowing contact between us to cease. I acknowledged that the fault lay with me: that I had, as you said, broken her heart, and that any lapse in friendship or communication was similarly my burden to bear. I attempted to explain that I had no wish to hurt her further.
Aerith reiterated that I had hurt her, but that our friendship was still in existence, unless I did not wish it.
This was a relief and a worry to hear: I explained my fear that hurting her again would be an inevitability, so I made a similar suggestion regarding my project limitations. Since my failure with the alarms was part of what caused her distress, I could allow her to direct and use my skills. In this way I hoped to convey that I still wished to provide assistance in keeping her safe, but without overstepping personal boundaries.
This is where the conversation began to turn. She expressed a desire not to use me and further elaborated that I was hurting her and myself at this very moment.
This is where I became initially confused. You and I have had conversations where I have told you that I am happiest when I can be put to use. I told Aerith a similar sentiment, but she reacted negatively and claimed my words meant I saw myself as an object, and prior experience made those words carry a negative connotation. But they are how I prefer to describe myself and what I need to be happy - as you have claimed it is what you desire. This too was met with negative emotion: evidently I am not to use these words to describe myself unless I have her permission?
She asked if I had sought clarity in why I had hurt her in the first place: I said that I was in the process of it, but that Doctor Sheehan had been working on establishing rapport first and foremost. Alarmingly, she began to talk about our friendship in the past tense and that she did not wish for it to end: she asked me why I had not asked her a question, but I do not know what she wished me to ask her.
That was when she began to cry once again. I realized that speaking likely would make matters worse. She followed with a series of semi-connected sentences regarding her apology to me for hurting me - and it was not hurt I feel, but alarm first and foremost - and that she did not wish our friendship to end, and this was her attempt to talk the matter through.
I reached out to you discretely in order to save this before it had the potential to grow worse, and attempted to explain your sudden appearance as a desire to seek understanding in how I have hurt her.
Again, that seemed to make matters worse; Aerith did not like my choice of words, or perhaps the generality of it. Perhaps she wishes for a more specific apology. That is when you entered.