Inbox

[artistinexile]

You have reached the inbox of the former Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Imperial Star Destroyer Chimaera and the Seventh Fleet, also formerly known as Senior Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo of the Springhawk.

I will return your message promptly.

[The message repeats in six different languages]

Comments

[planetdialup]

To reflect and relax, yes.

I went to sleep, excited for a new day and it...

Wasn't what I wanted. And I knew that I couldn't simply have my day.

It was now everyone else's, because people would want or need me for comfort or to calm down.

And that upset me.

[artistinexile]

Is it realistic to imagine a day where nothing occurs when we want it to? Had it not been me, it may have been a new inmate intent on destruction, a flood from the Admiral, a mini crisis that needed resolving.

I do not think I should shoulder this when I was not informed beforehand. But now that I am aware, I will endeavor to make a day free from responsibility to make up for the one that was stolen from you.

Who was it who needed you?

[planetdialup]

You're right that it wasn't realistic, and you're right that I was wrong with how I acted.

I had been trying to keep my birthday low key.

And at the moment, it's less about those who I did encounter, and more of the feeling of obligation I felt at the time- on a day I wanted to have with none.

Things do happen. Life isn't fair. What I did wasn't fair.

But you weren't fair to yourself either.

[artistinexile]

Ironic, then, that your efforts to keep it under notice led to me believing this was an opportune time to begin my own projects.

Do you often shoulder obligation without prompting? Perhaps your days of relaxation are closer than you think.

[planetdialup]

I do, and often.

And I think it'll be for awhile. We'll have to see, but I doubt I'll be given...the deal I'd like.

[artistinexile]

Why not?

[planetdialup]

I haven't been paired up with anyone permanently. No pairing, no deal.

[artistinexile]

Not yet.

But I see no reason to lose hope. What is your deal?

[planetdialup]

It was to ensure the world would heal and lessen the conquences of Jenova but...

I really...want to live.

[artistinexile]

What is stopping you?

[planetdialup]

It's a hard choice Thrawn. It's choosing between myself, and my duty and responsibility.

[artistinexile]

Can you explain that further?

[planetdialup]

I'm not sure how...? Or why we're focusing on my deal that I may not get.

Because even if I get either one, I'm going to stay with Zack until he's ready.

[artistinexile]

I am simply curious if your deal can be enacted without the Admiral's assistance, if you are interested.

[planetdialup]

I think we've covered the idea before and for both...

No. World stability- I'm being literal in that sense- and revival is...

Especially complicated, because it sounds like I will be in the planet, with the memories of all things, for two years at least.

It's not bam, here I am kind of thing. It has to be done carefully.

[artistinexile]

You will be in the planet?

[planetdialup]

Technically? Yes.

Along with trillions of lives that have lived and will live in the planet.

[artistinexile]

[a sharp, confused look at Florian: is this a metaphor or some allegory I am not understanding?]

[a_titanum]

[ He looks back before looking to Aerith. ]

Can you explain the relationship between life and your planet and individual souls for him?

[planetdialup]

All life comes from the planet.

The Lifestream to be specific. It is a river thay goes throughout the planet, that is filled with memories with every living thing.

Not a metaphor. Our bodies break down to planetary essence and goes back to the planet.

Including the soul. Most of the time, the individual soul will break down overtime, and while the memories remain, the soul comes back in the form of new life.

In short- I can't return to any planet to visit, because...I'm essentially planetary water, held together by the Admiral.

[artistinexile]

[oh okay that just makes his suspicions worse]

Have you tried?

[planetdialup]

No?

I'm...dead back home? It's too risky to try.

[artistinexile]

If you are dead, then there is no feasible reason not to try.

[planetdialup]

Thrawn, I understand this comes from a place of care.

But this is starting to sound more like a high risk experiment where, at best, if I do try, I won't be able to come back.

And you already know that I have a background where I was experimented on as a child.

Please reflect on that for a moment.

[artistinexile]

[His eyes, perhaps shockingly, narrow with slight insult. Thrawn will only speak when he is sure of himself; asking him to reflect on his words is to indicate wrongness. But he takes it for disagreement in personal opinion instead and relaxes his hold. He does not wish to fight.

He nods, once]

Very well.