Inbox

[artistinexile]

You have reached the inbox of the former Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Imperial Star Destroyer Chimaera and the Seventh Fleet, also formerly known as Senior Commander Mitth'raw'nuruodo of the Springhawk.

I will return your message promptly.

[The message repeats in six different languages]

Comments

[planetdialup]

Thrawn?

Do you have time to talk in person?

[artistinexile]

I do.

Where would you prefer to meet?

[planetdialup]

Would the library work? I was thinking of using a study room.

[artistinexile]

Very well. This afternoon should suffice. I will be there at two, Barge Standard Time.

[planetdialup]

All right. I'll meet you at the entry.

[artistinexile]

Acknowledged.

[precisely at two, Thrawn appears by the door to the study rooms. He seems to have taken the port in stride, no longer as pale-blue as he may have been a week or two ago.

He regards Aerith with an acknowledging nod of his head and waits for her to pick the room]

[planetdialup]

[She wouldn't be surprised if he loved the port in his own way thanks to all the music and art.

She nodded back to him, before moving towards an empty study room, motioning him inside.]

Here, if you don't mind.

[artistinexile]

[He walks in at her guidance, sitting down at a table with his fingers steepled. Thrawn waits]

[planetdialup]

You can relax, if you want. This isn't going to be a lecture or anything Thrawn.

If anything...I want to apologize for not speaking to you for so long.

[And she sighed, and made to sit opposite him.]

[artistinexile]

[he does not relax, or perhaps he cannot in these circumstances. That would indicate a letting down of his guards and he has no indication to be surprised again]

The fault is mine. Florian indicated that I have broken your heart and our friendship with my actions. Please be assured that silence after a fall-out is inevitable.

[planetdialup]

[Well...that took her by surprise.]

Did...wait. Is that...is that exactly what Florian said?

[artistinexile]

Merely the first half.

I have no desire to hurt you further. I withdrew.

[planetdialup]

...Ah.

[She sits there, stunned for a few moments, staring at the table. She can understand it to some extent but...

Boy she is going to get a headache from this isn't she.]

Thrawn...you hurt me. But...that...didn't break the friendship.

Unless...you don't want to be friends?

[artistinexile]

I have no desire to hurt you further. And I fear that will be an inevitability, although my warden assures me that if I ask permission, it will not be the case.

I suggest a system where you use my mind and skills to yours and the ship's benefit, and I will do no further harm.

[agonizing though it may be to sit on his hands]

[planetdialup]

[Aerith just...doesn't know what to do with this. Use him? For the ship's benefit? For hers? Aerith slowly shakes her head, looking stupidifed.]

Thrawn...

I...don't think we're understanding each other at all.

I don't want to use you. I never want to use you. You...do you realize how much you're hurting me? Right now?

How much you're hurting yourself?

[artistinexile]

[oh no it's a trap]

No. My apologies.

However, I will clarify that I am happiest when I can be used for the benefit of all.

[planetdialup]

Thrawn...I understand you're trying. And you said that too when I went to see you. But let me clarify something to you.

[She leaned over the table, gripping the edge of it.]

When you say 'used', it makes you sound like an object. I don't like that.

I've gotten that enough with what I am back home.

Do you even understand why you hurt me in the first place? Asked Florian? Anyone? Got any clarity at all?

[artistinexile]

[oh no it's happening again. There's a static in his brain indicating ship overload of electricity. He steadies his hands on his knees, staring back. He will have to endure]

That is my choice.

Florian has placed me in therapeutic sessions with Doctor Sheehan in order to provide insight. Doctor Sheehan is establishing a bond of mutual trust before clarity is achieved, or so he claims.

[planetdialup]

[She takes in a deep breath. Another. She can feel the tears prickle at her eyes and she knows they're angry tears.

It doesn't make it better.]

Your choice. Not our choice.

[Aerith dropped her head, and had to take in some slow, shaky breaths. She felt so...so hurt.]

I-I didn't want our friendship to end. I thought- I thought we could talk and fix this. Instead...

Why didn't you ask me...?

[artistinexile]

[oh no. He's done it again.

Florian will know how to fix this; there is the urge to call him, but he is unsure if that will make things worse. He sits in silence, terrified of Aerith's tears and how he has somehow managed to make her cry again.]

[planetdialup]

[She takes in a deep breath, and made to wipe the tears away. They were still there, and she was still- so hurt.

Aerith made to stand up.]

I'm sorry Thrawn. I hurt you, again.

I wanted us to-reconnect. I wanted- well. It's selfish of me to expect...anything without validating your feelings.

I'll leave you alone.

I won't use you.

[artistinexile]

[he is still so confused about where all this went so wrong again. Has he not said he wants to be used? Why is that such a difficult thing when Florian understands?

He texts his warden under the table and attempts to stall for time]

Please wait one moment. I seek...clarification and understanding.

[planetdialup]

[She swallows, and shakes her head a little. Not in negation but- in confusion.]

On...what, exactly?

[She'd been ready to leave, but...no dramatic exit where she could cry it out, clearly.]

[artistinexile]

On whatever I have said to cause this distress.

[He stands abruptly as Florian knocks on the door]

[planetdialup]

On whatever?

[She huffs out an angry breath, before turning at the knock.]

Who...?